Monday, March 19, 2007
Ice-cream treat
Few things in this life really make me serene: white non-pooping doves flying, when it smells like flowers after a summer shower, when my mother laughs, when a cat purrs and mint and chocolate chip ice-cream. What makes you truly serene? What calms you down?
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The see. there's nothing more simple, more fascinating than the see. it is the one place on earth where we are truly small. we walk beside it, we leave out footprints in the sand, and the next second the see just sweeps them all away.it's like we weren't even there..it's like Alessandro Barrico said about the beach in one of my favorite books:"no longer land,
not yet watter". what is it then? it's everything and nothing at the same time. it's just me. and the see. I'm no longer a twenty something girl with medium hair and brown eyes, with specific characteristics.it's just me. my own depth. and the see.
"So alone it was there, it seemed a thing forgotten. It was almost as if a procession of inns, of every kind and vintage, had passed by there one day, skirting the coast, when, out of tiredness, one had detached itself from the rest, and, as its traveling companions filed past, it decided to stop on that slight rise, yielding to its own weakness, bowing its head and waiting for the end."
"Time doesn't pass, we pass through time" as Garabet Ibraileanu said. The see is one of those places where time becomes an obscure notion, you look at the gleaming-in-the-sunrise water, you hear a dim see-gull shriek, you feel the gentle and sometimes smelly breeze on your cheeks' dimples, and it all becomes a silent concerto of the senses. I love the see, I love it because it's one of the few things in this world that welcomes me on serene days and gives me the fake freedom I crave for.
oh, but it's not fake, the freedom it gives you. it is real as can be. think of all the thinks you can't do right now, sitting on that chair, all the thinks you can't be. just because you are who you are. and you have to carry who you are everywhere. except when you're by the see. somehow, when you face that worm or horribly cold breeze, when all you can see in front of you is water, everything else just seems to fade away. no more problems, no more deadlines, no more muse-problems. no more nothing. just your deepest self. and the see. there can't be a place or time where/when you feel more unattached.freedom at its greatness. by the see.
Freedom may be universally defined one way, but it can also be individually defined in another; maybe the see has the great power of making you feel free, but for me it doesn't, not in the way I imagine of being free. For me freedom is a notion that transcends, it is valuable and powerful no matter in what era the human kind is placed; it is above human reason and thought, it is an entity that coexists with a philosophical superiority that cannot be achieved in a mere and self-sufficiently lived lifetime. The see gives me a fake freedom feeling and I accept its fakeness, because I am a hypocrite and I admit it. This freedom is fake because the breeze is blowing on my face and the cold wind of reality blows in the back of my neck, so I am not completely possessed by the power of my own detachment. Therefore I accept the fake feeling of freedom that the see gives me, because it’s probably going to be the closest to the ideal freedom I'll ever get to...
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