Saturday, April 18, 2009

Fallen Angels

Young, lost, trapped, poor, sad, needy...we all felt at least one of them at one time or another in our youth. But when somebody artistically portrays them all in 90 minute and exemplifies being like you are part of this world yet not quite, something begins to turn inside did in me.

My eyes are darkened by the circles of puzzlement. Puzzlement you ask (maybe)? Yes, you read correctly. I am traced into pieces, some are there on the board, some are missing. I am beginning to look like a puzzle, I have been metamorphosised into a puzzle, therefore I have been puzzled and surely enough I remain puzzled.

I don't know if I'll recover all my pieces. It's a process. But I do know that I am at place being out of place, more accurately, I am in place without a few places, pieces to be more exact, at least this is what I got from Wong Kar Wai's Fallen Angels:

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The First: When is it too late to...?

Dear Witty Sloth,

When is it too late to start over? Or to fall in love? Or to be good? Or to find your purpose? Or to write poetry? Or to learn how to fly a plane? Or to make friends? Or to make sense?

I was skimming through a book about writing scripts today and while I was reading what I should be writing about I realized another thing. I realized that in order to have some writing done, I should do some living and in order to do some living I have to be willing to get out of my safe, do-absolutely-nothing-except-eat-and-sleep zone. But I am buried so deep in this zone, the trap zone of nothing and nothingness and nobody meaningful and nothing significant that it's becoming a way of life. I've lived all my life fearing routine and not doing anything ordinary and I ended up doing nothing and making a routine out of that. Therefore truly anything can be made a routine. Even doing different things all the time in a chaotic manner can become the routine of doing different things all the time in a chaotic manner.

Some people like routine, they like feeling safe while expecting something expected, others state they hate routine and anything that has to do with it, but the truth is, we all like some things being done routinely, some exceptions to those routines, some things done differently every time and the same things being done the same sometimes. What I'm probably trying to say is that there is never a recipe and if there is, it works only if you want it to work.

It's funny when people come on TV or to your face, either strangers or acquaintances and they say that they used this and that and they solved a problem or several, more than that, this or that worked perfectly for them. And then, maybe, with some skepticism you try it and this or that doesn’t do anything for you. Do you blame the method? Do you blame the people who recommended this or that or do you blame the fact that randomness is not random and that skepticism is sheer predictability of failure? Do you blame the fact that you were born when Venus was aligned with Jupiter or do you blame your choosing to be skeptical despite the success of others? Whatever you blame, be sure not to make a routine out of it. Because once you make a routine out of failure it becomes a way of life...

Concerned Routine