Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Part of something, Part of everything, Part of...(Not Nothing :D) my latest poem: Astray

....It may be God or Allah or Buddha or Zeus
Sunny mornings or flowers or a moose,

It may be software or books of money
Or movies or jokes that aren't funny,

However far our beings go astray,
We believe in something anyway.

If you suggest that you don’t need to pray,
Even if it’s to yourself in your mirror’s way,

I know you’re doing something of the sort,
But are too proud to admit the spiritual effort.

You need to believe so you can feel empowered,
Because you’re alone and, deep down, a coward.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Immersion

About four years ago, when I was studying, well, sort of studying, to pass my high-school exams and get into a good university, my body experienced something very strange to me at that moment. Mentally, focus-wise, I was quite alright, but my organism was channeling all the stress to the bone system, therefore I was in a lot of pain for a couple of months, all because of my joints.

Now, after a lot of exams and a lot of changes in my life, I find myself experiencing a huge amount of stress again. My bone system is not the source of pain this time, my subconscious is. All my dreams are totally messed up and make absolutely no sense (they usually have a plot, or some kind of action). I feel as if immersed in another Chien Andalus film, but this time, no ants, but a lot of teeth. I am not only dreaming them, but also clutching them in my sleep. Not a healthy thing for my maxillaries, but I just cannot control the unconscious clutching.

Stress is a very odd thing that our body experiences. It often has surprising effects. I'm glad that I don't feel it as accurately while I am awake and I can carry on with my business, but I would like to have it eliminated all together, not just in the conscious part of the day.

But enough about stress-related changes in humans. School has started, for a while now, but I haven't quite started it myself. I went to one course and it was only about organizing the course itself and not about relevant information about that particular subject, so I got fairly bored, like you probably are right now :), and I haven’t been to a course since.

Have a very un-stressful rest of the autumn and don't forget that Heroes is on its third season. A lot of related to stress and anxiety changes are going on there :).


Good Luck to You,
Lumi

Monday, October 13, 2008

Between

The will to succeed is in all of us, but few have the courage to go all the way to get what they really want and not what they claim they want.

As I see it, many times you're torn between what you should do (in order to be safe and in order to make your parents feel OK where you are concerned) and what you love and has a huge potential of making you truly happy (but you have to work a great deal to obtain and you have to make a lot of sacrifices, from little sleep to refusing to go out with your friends).

Today I went to a class. I don't know exactly why, maybe I was too pissed because the wireless network wasn't working and my mac couldn't make its updates properly.

In other news, I had my TOEFL exam on Saturday. The results will be available in 15 working days.

As you can see, I am truly bored and displeased with the world these days. Maybe the days to come will be more agreeable.

I'll leave you now with George Costanza, a man who always knew he wanted to pretend to be an architect.