Stop being way nicer than you really are! Stop doing favors that you hate doing! Stop helping others when you need help more than them! Stop thinking that you are indestructible, incorruptible and hard to manipulate?
We are feeble and bad and stupid and lazy and we stress ourselves about problems that we, many times, don't have. We are week and we can hurt those around us. The only thing that saves us from what we are is the will to do good.
It's always a matter of choice. Nobody says that doing good is the easy choice, it's easier to ignore the people who ask you for help, it's easier to avoid/be mean to your enemies than be kind to them (who does that anyway? who is kind to their enemies? that's the proverbial turn the other cheek business sent to the battle field of current society). Whatever you think of doing, ignore that and do some good, just don't be false about it. This is the trickiest thing ever: do something good genuinely, even if you don't want to do it or if it's too hard.
Sometimes it's a challenge for us all, to test the power of our will, sometimes we just make the easiest choice and do nothing and many times, we do something that, if we have a conscience, we regret after a while.
I'll always be sorry for being mean to my grandfather just before he died, or being disrespectful so many times to my grandmother. I'll always be sorry for killing a big, green and sparkly caterpillar when I was a kid. I'll always be sorry for hurting my mom by ignoring her or for hurting my dad by lying to him, I'll always be sorry for not being there for my friends when they needed to talk about what was bothering them, but I was in no mood. I am sorry for not making the right choice or thinking the right thing too many times. I'm sorry for flirting with guys that were hitched (not with me). I am sorry for all of this, but I don't regret one thing.
Being alive it's all about making mistakes and learning from them. If you learn from the mistakes that others have made, great, but, usually, we learn better if we actually experience the consequences of our mistakes.
Stay safe! Be good! Stay Alive!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Savour the moment!
Everlasting moments...as oxymoronic as it may sound, there are such things. These moments stay itched in your brain a life time. They're like small videos that you remember whenever you do something related to that particular moment. For instance last night was high school moments night.
In a room full of people my age, very nice and smart people indeed, with two hookahs and two bottles of red wine, we strolled down memory lane. People remembered they used to wear black instead of pink, their obsessions for 2Pac, the fact that we all knew the lyrics for Linkin Park's "In the end" may have struck a cord, we remembered cartoons and shows that we used to watch on Italian or other TV channels (this was a little before high school) - Sailor Moon, Captain Planet, Power Rangers etc. etc. etc..
In the wee hours of the night, smoke was everywhere, the bottles were empty and the room was full of Marilyn Manson, Limp Bizkit, P.O.D., Stained, System of a Down...ahhh, sweet moments from high school that allow you to have sweet moments in college. It's like a chain of memories that trigger more fun memories. After all, what we have in our heads makes us create the next and next and next everlasting memories...circumstances might help too ;).
In a room full of people my age, very nice and smart people indeed, with two hookahs and two bottles of red wine, we strolled down memory lane. People remembered they used to wear black instead of pink, their obsessions for 2Pac, the fact that we all knew the lyrics for Linkin Park's "In the end" may have struck a cord, we remembered cartoons and shows that we used to watch on Italian or other TV channels (this was a little before high school) - Sailor Moon, Captain Planet, Power Rangers etc. etc. etc..
In the wee hours of the night, smoke was everywhere, the bottles were empty and the room was full of Marilyn Manson, Limp Bizkit, P.O.D., Stained, System of a Down...ahhh, sweet moments from high school that allow you to have sweet moments in college. It's like a chain of memories that trigger more fun memories. After all, what we have in our heads makes us create the next and next and next everlasting memories...circumstances might help too ;).
Monday, June 16, 2008
Hello Boys and Girls!
My new found infatuation with a certain TV series has reached its apex today. I am delighted to say that I finally had a very pleasant day.
I have to admit that my current fascination with this particular TV show is not a usual one, nor that I am particularly fond of such stories, but this one is aimed to please my scandal-and -relationship-twists mental need (and I didn't even know I had one). I am talking, of course, about Gossip Girl. Judge all you like, if you haven't seen it, you should, no matter how cynic you think you can be.
Moreover I found a new song that I love, when I was watching another scandal-full episode on the show. Have a look and tell me what you think!
In other news, I'm still waiting for the perfect mood to seriously start working on my final thesis. So far, a lot of moods have auditioned, none have gotten the part.
Happy final thesis writing for those who already ended the casting ;)!
Have a pleasant week my dear readers!
I have to admit that my current fascination with this particular TV show is not a usual one, nor that I am particularly fond of such stories, but this one is aimed to please my scandal-and -relationship-twists mental need (and I didn't even know I had one). I am talking, of course, about Gossip Girl. Judge all you like, if you haven't seen it, you should, no matter how cynic you think you can be.
Moreover I found a new song that I love, when I was watching another scandal-full episode on the show. Have a look and tell me what you think!
In other news, I'm still waiting for the perfect mood to seriously start working on my final thesis. So far, a lot of moods have auditioned, none have gotten the part.
Happy final thesis writing for those who already ended the casting ;)!
Have a pleasant week my dear readers!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Focus Group Mayhem
In the quest of writing my final thesis, I have finally managed to complete part of the qualitative research, by doing three focus groups. I have never thought that it would be so hard to gather 24 people, by offering free chocolate and cookies. Luckily, students actually showed up for this research and I had people to moderate in front of.
It was fun and it had a lot of "surprises": people telling me half an hour before the focus group that they couldn't come, people laughing at each other for no reason, people fighting about unrelated to the research topics, without even knowing each other prior to the interview session etc..
I found out I really liked doing this, although I have a lot more to learn about moderating focus groups. A lot of insights came out and a lot more will reveal themselves after I analyze the FG videos.
After moderating, participating and observing focus groups, I have to admit I like moderating best. Maybe because my personality is dominant and stubborn in many aspects of my life or maybe I secretly like to be a professor and never admit it, but moderating is exciting, it can test your patience and your interviewer skills, it can even be a great crisis management training.
Overall it was the most existing part of this final thesis, which I have to be done with in a week. The countdown begins!
...but before that, yesterday was the anniversary of 1 year since we left for the States. There are a lot of sweeeeeeeeet memories, a lot of fun facts, a lot of songs that remind me every day that last summer was the best summer in my life.
Here's Gym Class Heroes. Close your eyes and imagine you're driving to San Francisco :)
...we are fragile...
It was fun and it had a lot of "surprises": people telling me half an hour before the focus group that they couldn't come, people laughing at each other for no reason, people fighting about unrelated to the research topics, without even knowing each other prior to the interview session etc..
I found out I really liked doing this, although I have a lot more to learn about moderating focus groups. A lot of insights came out and a lot more will reveal themselves after I analyze the FG videos.
After moderating, participating and observing focus groups, I have to admit I like moderating best. Maybe because my personality is dominant and stubborn in many aspects of my life or maybe I secretly like to be a professor and never admit it, but moderating is exciting, it can test your patience and your interviewer skills, it can even be a great crisis management training.
Overall it was the most existing part of this final thesis, which I have to be done with in a week. The countdown begins!
...but before that, yesterday was the anniversary of 1 year since we left for the States. There are a lot of sweeeeeeeeet memories, a lot of fun facts, a lot of songs that remind me every day that last summer was the best summer in my life.
Here's Gym Class Heroes. Close your eyes and imagine you're driving to San Francisco :)
...we are fragile...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Back in action :)
Being too hot and all, it's been a while since I thought...on the blog, of course. With one more exam around the corner and a whole final thesis to prepare, time and the weather are not my best friends these days. I'm sure I'm not the only one in a time pickle, but I am sure that I'm amongst the very few who managed to be ostracized by their final thesis coordonator. Ah yes, the sweet sound of panic rings in my ears.
I came home a nervous-wreck-to-be. The warm, safe and smothering air in the room filled me with the joy of not having any more problems than I already had, but...surprize!!! In the late hours of this beautifully-wretched evening, I found out that the professor that didn't get my homework emails, also didn't pass along my new grade. Therefore, I can now consider myself flunked, until further notice.
Ahhhh, the satisfying grief of getting the maximum score in the seminar, passing the exam and somehow, still, flunkig the subject. Isn't it swell?!?
Maybe tomorrow the tables will turn and I will have a beautiful day.
Maybe your day won't be too bad as well. Maybe we'll be closer to happiness tomorrow or maybe stupidity and bureaucracy will overthrow it all, yet again. We'll found out in a few hours won't we? Until then: good night and pleasant subconscious trails!
I came home a nervous-wreck-to-be. The warm, safe and smothering air in the room filled me with the joy of not having any more problems than I already had, but...surprize!!! In the late hours of this beautifully-wretched evening, I found out that the professor that didn't get my homework emails, also didn't pass along my new grade. Therefore, I can now consider myself flunked, until further notice.
Ahhhh, the satisfying grief of getting the maximum score in the seminar, passing the exam and somehow, still, flunkig the subject. Isn't it swell?!?
Maybe tomorrow the tables will turn and I will have a beautiful day.
Maybe your day won't be too bad as well. Maybe we'll be closer to happiness tomorrow or maybe stupidity and bureaucracy will overthrow it all, yet again. We'll found out in a few hours won't we? Until then: good night and pleasant subconscious trails!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Too Hot to Think
I thought that Romania was in a temperate climate zone...I guess I was wrong.
When it's May, you have more than 80% of your final thesis to write before June 30th, the last undergraduate examination period is in one week and all you can think about is shade, sweat and "Please not the bus again!!!", then people, we have got a problem!
For the past five years I have been saying over and over, every summer, that we should just have showers on streets corners and changing booths next to them. People should be able to slip in their bathing suit and jump under the shower....or...skip the clothes altogether and get on the streets in swimsuits: business swimsuits, casual swimsuits, skateboarding swimsuits etc. etc. etc..
We should also have windowless buses :).
Another thing, in case you're familiar with the street vendors that sell overpriced, cheep umbrellas during the rain in the main squares of Bucharest, well, they should sell sun umbrellas and ice on skewers during the awful heat that will follow.
Enjoy the months of smell hell!
When it's May, you have more than 80% of your final thesis to write before June 30th, the last undergraduate examination period is in one week and all you can think about is shade, sweat and "Please not the bus again!!!", then people, we have got a problem!
For the past five years I have been saying over and over, every summer, that we should just have showers on streets corners and changing booths next to them. People should be able to slip in their bathing suit and jump under the shower....or...skip the clothes altogether and get on the streets in swimsuits: business swimsuits, casual swimsuits, skateboarding swimsuits etc. etc. etc..
We should also have windowless buses :).
Another thing, in case you're familiar with the street vendors that sell overpriced, cheep umbrellas during the rain in the main squares of Bucharest, well, they should sell sun umbrellas and ice on skewers during the awful heat that will follow.
Enjoy the months of smell hell!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Stray
Sometimes you just sit and think (or stand and think). Your mind isn't linked in the present-surrounding reality, it just jumps from image to image while your body is prey for the aging seconds. Even with your eyes closed, you start the mind wandering through brain files with different extensions (.doc, .jpeg, .mpeg, .avi, .dmg or .exe etc.): the first poem you wrote, your baby pictures that your mom kept so dearly, your first view of clouds from the plane, the first time you made love, the first book that really changed you... a lot of stuff...
Suddenly, your thoughts aren't that coherent, extensions start to mix and you suddenly find yourself getting out of a pink trunk, in a room full of mirrors, where ducks indeed have an echoing quack and pink pigs in Armani suites follow the yellow brick road that leads to the cat's hole...
you're the hole, you're the duck, you're the trunk, you're just a dot, you can't be seen from the moon, you're not immortal, you have no idea where you're headed, you really don't know what's next, you're lost, if only there were a map for existing, you would get it out right now, instead of wasting precious time on rethinking things that periodically come into your mind and never get solved...Stop wasting your life on stray thoughts...just stop, have a look around, maybe you'll come into your senses, stop looking at people in the subway, just look at their shoes, no, not their shoes, look at the prints, that's it, stay with the prints, hmm, Kylie is really hot, although she's too small, so is Christina and Jennifer and Selma so is my patience with you, stop wandering just start planning your final thesis, you can start now, right here, you have a pen and a note book, take them, out...slowly, that's funny, if someone were in my head right now...wait a minute, are you reading what I'm thinking???
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don't love you like I love you...
Suddenly, your thoughts aren't that coherent, extensions start to mix and you suddenly find yourself getting out of a pink trunk, in a room full of mirrors, where ducks indeed have an echoing quack and pink pigs in Armani suites follow the yellow brick road that leads to the cat's hole...
you're the hole, you're the duck, you're the trunk, you're just a dot, you can't be seen from the moon, you're not immortal, you have no idea where you're headed, you really don't know what's next, you're lost, if only there were a map for existing, you would get it out right now, instead of wasting precious time on rethinking things that periodically come into your mind and never get solved...Stop wasting your life on stray thoughts...just stop, have a look around, maybe you'll come into your senses, stop looking at people in the subway, just look at their shoes, no, not their shoes, look at the prints, that's it, stay with the prints, hmm, Kylie is really hot, although she's too small, so is Christina and Jennifer and Selma so is my patience with you, stop wandering just start planning your final thesis, you can start now, right here, you have a pen and a note book, take them, out...slowly, that's funny, if someone were in my head right now...wait a minute, are you reading what I'm thinking???
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don't love you like I love you...
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